fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
soo... how was my night?
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