God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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