no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
