u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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