Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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