I am puke
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
