so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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