his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
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I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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