I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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