Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
