Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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