What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
