Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize