my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
