It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
