Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
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At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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