Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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