Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
