Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
