I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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