pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
