ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
