glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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