I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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