Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
