so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
