Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize