i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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