Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
