I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
handjob tips. give me some.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
