so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
