TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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