Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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