Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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