didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
