Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
