He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
