You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Randomize
