omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
