found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
