Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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