She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
