There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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