the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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