apparently the secret to your success is patron
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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