we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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