Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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