i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
