wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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