I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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