it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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