Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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