ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk is not a location!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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