you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
