saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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