Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
