If that was your dad, he is hot
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
