i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
