you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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