she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
