I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
