If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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