This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize