I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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