oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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