i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
