you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
